Playboy Magazine, February, 2009

Full Table of Contents

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Front Cover

Front Cover

THE NAKED RING COVER GIRL J* JiSSWALl FICTI D/JLJ/J. =:;s;jjij]-rjL);jj£i)ij

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WHISKEY by Jackdaniels

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Kandy Masquerade by ABSOLUTE POKER

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Norman Mailer by Nmwcolony

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PLAYBILL

Article

Last month we celebrated our 55th anni­versary. With this issue, you are peering into the future. It's packed with pleasant surprises, new looks and fresh formats—the latest development of our magic mix of enter­tainment, timely information, probing...

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RACE PRO by Atari

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BOND GIRLS IN EXILE

Letters to the Editor

All the women in your Bond (tills tribute (November) are gorgeous, but how could you forget Jill St. John? Besides looking great in a bikini, she was the first Ameri­can Bond girl. When Sean Connery meets her in Diamonds Are Forever she changes her...

MORE ON BOND

Letters to the Editor

In Facts. Bond Facts (November) you reprint a photo taken from the For Your Eyes Only movie poster. James Bond is seen through the long legs of a woman holding a crossbow. Does anyone know to whom those legs belong? Mark Reinstein Boca Raton,...

The President of Us

Letters to the Editor

My initial reaction to Will Blythe's profile of young Barack Obama orga­nizer Lamont Carolina (The Campaign of His Life, November) was "Oh boy, another story about a kid from the ghetto saved by the benevolence of lib­eral white Democratic...

READ ALL OVER

Letters to the Editor

As I browse the list of your interna­tional editions at playboy.com, it's refresh­ing to see imj\ybov is now published in so many former communist countries, such as Bulgaria, Estonia, Georgia, Lithuania, Poland, Romania, Russia, Slovakia, Slove­nia...

HANDLER WITH CARE

Letters to the Editor

Ureai2Uil with Chelsea Handler (Novem­ber). Eric Spitznagel had to love talking to a woman who is more than ready to bring it. And she's so right that older men such as her boyfriend, who has 20 years on her, know how to take care of a woman. Scott...

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LOST BUNNY

Letters to the Editor

I have been reading im.avbov since the 1950s and always see how long it takes me to find the Rabbit Head on the cover. After scanning every square inch of the November photo, I was about to con­cede when I caught sight of the elusive little rascal...

PENIS ENVY

Letters to the Editor

As the author of Exercising the Penis, I've done my fair share of research on man's favorite organ. Although Chip Rowe cov­ers many newfound truths in The Sexual Male, Part Fwe: The Hard Facts (Novem­ber), he fails to address the benefits of penis...

ACCESS TO POWER

Letters to the Editor

lalk about a knockout—mixed-martial-arts host Rat helle Leah (The I 'Itimale Fight Chick, November) is easily the UFC (Ulti­mate Fine Chick) champion. You hit this one out of the Octagon. Kelly Blask Mason, Michigan I've seen a lot of gorgeous legs...

ROCK STEADY

Letters to the Editor

V'ou have outdone yourself with Playmate Grace Kim (Amazing Grace, November). Mike Bachelder Cheyenne, Wyoming Grace is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Plus, she is an experi­enced Guitar Hero and Rock Band gamer who likes to compete for...

Evan Williams SINCE 1783 by Evanwilliams

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Wisely by Evanwilliams

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Vegas by PALMS

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THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY

Article

HEF SIGHTINGS. MANSION FROLICS AND NIGHTLIFE NOTES BLOTTO IN THE GROTTO Adam Carolla and Teresa Strasser hosted their annual Blotto in the Grotto event for The Adam Carolla Show. The most interesting part of the party being broadcast live from the...

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GHOULS, GOBLIN AND GIRLS

Article

For Halloween, Hef transformed the Mansion into a House of Horrors and Hotties. (1) Here's the horny devil himself flanked by his two angels, Karissa and Kristina Shannon, upcoming Chicago Playmate Crystal McCahill and Georgia State senior Amy...

America Olivo

Article

Shh. America Olivo is in Friday the 13th. the reboot of the well-known slasher series, in theaters this month, but she won't talk about it. Won't tell us about her character, Amanda, and what grisly fate may or may not be in store. America (say it...

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Know Your Girl-Girl Action

Article

You may be familiar with a dia­gram or two from the Kama Sutra, but when it comes to two ladies fornicating, what do you know about the differ­ent ways of doing it? At left are a few instructive photos from Lesbian Sex: 101 Love-making Positions by...

Alchemy With Alcohol

Article

Cointreau, the orange liqueur es­sential to a sidecar and nice in a margarita, has gone solid. Booze tends to want to stay liquid, but after months of research, Coin­treau's scientists figured out how to "spherify" the stuff into little orange globs...

Smooth Nerd

Article

Simon Helberg's character Howie Wolowitz can be described as the coolest of the awkward brainiacs on the sitcom The Big Bang Theory. "He's definitely the most put together," says Helberg. "His goal in life is physical contact with girls, and he...

Danielle Fornarelli

Article

PLAYBOY: You work at a pizzeria? DANIELLE: Not just a pizzeria—it's a Chicago chain called Pizza-Ria. I co-founded it in the early 2000s, and in the years since, I've sold off some of the restaurants to friends and family. PLAYBOY: Wow, you started...

You Had to Be There

Article

A scene from Playboy's pre-Super Bowl party: "This truly was an alter­native universe. A leggy Playmate was perched in the crescent moon, now securely hung from the rafters, while others staged pillow fights down below. Body paint as evening wear?...

Don't Give the Wrong Thing

Article

VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS DECODED Gift: Flowers You think you're saying: These are beautiful, and so are you. She says: "I always look forward to getting flowers on Valentine's Day." That means: Wow, a dozen roses once a year—don't strain yourself....

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The International

Reviews

In director Tom Tykwer's pulse pounder The International, Clive Owen, as an Inter-pol agent, and Naomi Watts, as a Manhat­tan assistant DA, traverse the globe to bring the world's biggest bank—whose tentacles are wrapped around conspiracy, murder,...

MOVIE FACTOID

Reviews

The reinvention of Friday the 13th features Jason Voorhees as the killer (it's his mom in the 1980 slasher classic). The 2009 version reportedly incorporates elements from the first four Friday movies, including the trademark hockey mask Jason...

DVDs of the Month

Reviews

Vicky Cristina Barcelona In Woody Allen's sexiest movie, two friends (Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Hall) fall for a Spanish painter (Javier Bardem) and get tangled up in a menage a quatre with him and his ex-wife (Penelope Cruz). Best extra: None...

TEASE FRAME

Reviews

Back in 2000 sultry British actress Rhona Mitra is still a little wet behind the ears in Hollow Man (pictured) just before she falls victim to Kevin Bacon's violent invisible touch. After empowering herself with strong roles on FX's Nip/Tuck and in...

Now Showing

Reviews

Jennifer Aniston learns why in He s Just Not That Into You; Steve Martin returns in The Pink Panther 2; Chris Evans fights psychic espionage in Push. Read more at playboyxom.

Jo Takes On 50

Reviews

We sent 2008 Cyber Girl of the Year (and game expert) Jo Garcia to find out about 50 Cent's new offering, Blood on the Sand (360, PS3), from the man himself. Garcia: How is this different from your first game, Bulletproof? 50 Cent: I was much more...

The Archduke's Return

Reviews

It's tough being You invented a hybrid style of danceable rock so wildly popular it inspired a mil­lion new bands to take up your sound and push it into ever more electrofied forward-thinking places, leaving you to wonder whether, like a fish that...

THE RISE OF THE ARGONAUTS

Reviews

(360, PC, PS3) This blood-drenched retelling of Jason's journeys gives you an immense world and powerful allies (Hercules, Achilles and others). Sure, there are a few drawn-out, re­petitive quests, but on the whole it's an amusing, lusty,...

PRINNY: CAN I REALLY BE THE HERO? (PSP)

Reviews

legged penguins that contain karmi-cally rejected human souls and die easily. Luckily you have a thousand of them ready to sacrifice themselves to get you through this strangely en­dearing, extremely Japanese action platforming game. VVVV4 -Chris...

Mushroom Men

Reviews

(Wii) places you in the middle or a war between anthropomorphic shrooms. Your sticky pseudo-pod catapults you around the levels as you enjoy the blend of whimsy and violence. Finally, a Wii game that's actually worth playing. VVV% -Scott Alexander

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Some Bands Have All the Luck

Article

Hard rockers Hinder recently took sexy album art to the next level with the "X-rated" edition of their CD Take It to the Limit. Six nude Playboy models lurk in the background of the cover photo, and the interior art shows band members partying with...

Use Your Big Head

Article

What's it like being a contestant on the trivia-and-strippers program Show Us Your Wits? Let us take you through it.... Question: Who painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling? Easy as pie! Although it is a bit distracting that the lingerie-clad questioner...

CGOY 2009: Who Will Win?

Article

Since the dawn of time—or at least since 2002—there have been only seven Cyber Girls of the Year. The inaugural winner was Erika Michelle Barre, who reigned until Merritt Cabal (above), the pride of Harahan, Louisiana, was named CGOY 2003. Soon CGOY...

Where to Party in Tampa

Article

SUPER BOWL XLIII will last about four hours. What will you do the rest of the weekend? Start here.... Tampa's best steak house: BERN'S, one of the country's greatest. The strip sirloin weighs 3.75 pounds (bernssteakhouse.com). Strip club: MONS...

PLAYBOY CITY GUIDES!

Article

For 55 years this magazine has advised men all over the globe on how to live large after dark. This month we launch our City Guides, insiders' hot lists of where to go and what to do in America's top 10 most happening urban party meccas. Check it...

Holy Smoke

Article

Ybor City, a historic Tampa neighborhood, was settled by cigar makers 120 years ago. You can still walk down Sev­enth Avenue and see workers hand-assembling masterpieces at King Corona, Metropolitan and Gonzalez y Martinez. Our choice: El Sol...

SHAKEN AND STIRRED

Article

TAMPA'S HOTTEST BARTENDER(S) We found Krystel Di Cristanziano behind the bar at Jackson's Bistro, on the water (jacksonsbistro.com). Turns out her twin, Shamyl, also bartends there. So, Krystel, can people tell you and your sister apart? KRYSTEL:...

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WHAT THEY'RE THINKING

Article

47% OF MARIE CLAIRE READERS SAY THEY TELL A LIE ONE TO THREE TIMES EVERY DAY.

$58,880

Article

Gap between the median sala­ries of a law-school graduate ($106,120) and Joe Bachelor's Degree ($47,240), according to figures from The Wall Street journal. That's almost enough to buy a life-size replica of your­self built with Legos (see right)...

$60,000

Article

PRICE LISTED IN THE NEIMAN MARCUS CATALOG TO HAVE A LIFE-SIZE REPLICA OF YOURSELF BUILT WITH LEGOS.

2/3

Article

Shake it all you want, girls— l just try not to M end up with £ your ass in a sling. From 1982 to ^ 2007 two thirds of serious athletic injuries or deaths among young women in sports activities were suffered by cheerleaders. 22% OF MARRIED WOMEN...

5 to 10

Article

ACCORDING TO EUROPEAN UNION SCIENTISTS, AN ESTIMATED 5% TO 10% OF PORTABLE-MUSIC LISTENERS RISK PERMANENT HEARING LOSS IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS FROM PLAYING THEIR MUSIC TOO LOUD.

$61,830

Article

Sum paid at auction for a self-portrait drawn by Kate Moss in red lipstick. -

BEST SELLER

Article

4/ BOOKS CURRENTLY IN PRINT CONTAIN THE NAME OF BUSINESSMAN WARREN BUFFETT ON THE COVER. THE AVERAGE ACE OF A WOMAN GETTING BREAST IMPLANTS IS 34. 90% OF WOMEN WAIT UNTIL AFTER THEY'VE HAD KIDS. f THE CLEAVERS 23% OF AMERICAN MARRIED COUPLES SLEEP...

$378 MILLION

Article

Addicted to lip balm? You're not alone. Sales of the crack-in-a-tube have increased from $239 million in 2004 to $378 million in 2007.

THE PLAYBOY POLL

Article

HAT'S THE SEXIEST COSTUME A WOMAN CAN WEAR FOR VALENTINE'S DAY ROLE-PLAYING? WHAT WE'RE T.........." * SCHOOLGIRL: 31% * LIBRARIAN: 17% * NURSE: 13% ♦MERMAID: 13% ♦CHEERLEADER: 10% * COWGIRL: 6% * PRINCESS LEI A: 4% FAILED VICE-PRESIDENTIAL...

PROJECT by Afro Samurai

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Calendar by PLAYBOYSTORE

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Getting Steamy

Article

Cold happens. We recommend the liberal application of hot cocktails to the affected area These purpose-built winter warmers should see you through to gin season. From left: Evening Extender: Irish Coffee. The steak was huge and the cheesecake...

So Touching

Article

Your iPhone is ringing, but it's 10 below. Do you sacrifice your hands or your friendship? Neither. You just use your Dots Cloves ($20. dotsgloves .com). The brass finger­tips conduct the electric charge your skin carries, which in turn allows you...

Off the Cuff

Article

When a lady asks for the time, she's really asking for some of yours. Deck yourself out witn a pair ot Ketro \ ^^ in Deco Thermometer Watch cuff » links ($210, cufflinks.com) to make sure you don't fumble the opportunity. Made of rhodium-plated...

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Hello, Gorgeous

Article

Women obsess about the perfect little black dress. We ob­sess about the perfect little black laptop. Don"t look now, but we think the Voodoo Envy 133 (from $1,900. voodoopc .com) may be the One. Impossibly svelte at .7 inches thick, it's made of...

Babes on Boards

Article

We love snowboards because they double as artistic canvases. They help you make a statement on the slopes even if you can't pull of fa backside 540stalefish. This season Burton's making the world a prettier place by covering its rides with our...

Second Seating

Article

Ryan Frank's Inkuku chair ($3,100. ryanfrank.net) may look like a nouveau cream puff, but it's decidedly secondhand. The padding that swells from every surface is made of plastic shopping bags that toted eggs, milk and bananas into hundreds of homes...

MUSIC by Emusic

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WHEN THINGS DON'T GO RIGHT WHAT NIKE LEARNED IN CHINA

Article

The year was 1980. We were number three in branded U.S. athletic-shoe sales. Our best-selling shoe was the Waffle Trainer. Michael Jordan was a senior at Laney High School in Wilming­ton, North Carolina. We believed the rules were set by those who...

PARTY GIRL

Article

ONE NIGHT ONLY TWO TIPSY FEMALE STRANGERS AND THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT A one-night stand is like the Super Bowl. It doesn't matter how hard you work to get to the big show or how gracefully you handle the pregame jitters. There will be only one...

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RADAR AND LASER by ESCORT

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PLAYBOY ADVISOR

Article

I have no problem kissing my boyfriend after he goes down on me, but he's repulsed if I try to kiss him after giving him head. He says it's gross and just wrong. What does the Advisor think?—K.L., Cleveland, Ohio We assume you're not surprising him...

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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: HUGH LAURIE

Article

Not often does someone become a star by play­ing an unlikable curmudgeon week after miser­able week. But that's what happened to Hugh Laurie with House, the phenomenally popular medical drama on which he has turned the limping, pill-popping...

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Playing Doctor With House

Article

DR. ALLISON CAMERON Cameron kisses her boss, and he kisses back. Things cool when House tells her she always falls in love with charity cases, like himself. When her new beau, Chase, asks if she and House have had sex, she doesn't say yes--or no....

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HOUSE-O-MATIC

Article

WANT TO WIN AN EMMY? TRY THIS HANDY PLOT GENERATOR 0:00 Opening scene, cue the innocuous: Children's birthday party. Lovers stroll in the park. Woman taking a shower. 2:13 Suddenly, the character (who looks semi-familiar from playing bit parts in...

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NO FLAT LINES

Article

No one pulls off better one-liners than Gregory House. Here's the snarky proof "Seizures are fun to watch, boring to diagnose." "Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree." "My friends called me the...

GIFT by VALENTINE'S GIFT GUIDE

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THE DRUG COAST

Article

HAS FAILED IN G U I N EA-B I SSAU . r/r Welcome to the world's asks the bug-eyed lawyer. /, "That's just rumors and lies, ^ accusations spread by journal- ists." We sit across from each other on a hot, hungover Sunday morning in Bissau, the sleepy...

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

"The perfect welcome in weather like this--a roaring fire, champagne and a bare-skin rug!"

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FOREIGN EXCHANGE LOVE AND WARSAW

Article

Meet the magnificent Marta Poland is famous for heavenly women, sausages and vodka. What's missing? Absolutely nothing. Since you may not get to Warsaw too often we decided to import this fabulous specimen--25-year-old model Marta Gut, who made...

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THE WHISTLE BLOWERS

Article

EVERY SUNDAY IS JUDGMENT DAY FOR THE MEN IN ZEBRA STRIPES — - — t has to be the best part-time job in the world. Also the worst. Consider The Play. With a minute and nine seconds left in Super Bowl XLII. as Giants quarterback Eli Manning executes...

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

"You lent her your evening dress, she's wearing your perfume.... How could I resist?"

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MILF OF THE YEAR: SARAH PALIN

Article

NawaS Observatory, here I come!, I IavedbyH HELP. STRANDED. NIPPLES | underwear | VERY HARD . Hiker Jessica Bruinsma, injured and ' stranded in the Alps for 70 hours in chilly weather, peeled off her sports bra and sent it down the mountain on a...

AND THEN WE STOPPED WATCHING

Article

^^^^ Trump fired f for not SBr-tef to buy a S10.000 the Donal^Siows more sense with Uestant,J3rande Roderick. * WRONGFUL TERMINATION!

ALBANY VICE

Article

Crusading moralizer Eliot Spitzer resigned as New York governor after wiretaps linked him to the Emperors Club VIP escort agency. The scandal made call girl Ashley Alexandra Dupre a celebrity—but can it help her music career? For now, wife Silda...

SEX STILL SELLS

Article

Eva Mendes took it all off for a bootylicious PETA advertisement; Heidi Klum chan­neled Tom Cruise in Risky Business for a high-energy television commercial for the pop­ular video game Guitar Hero World Tour.

WII ARE THE WORLD

Article

Cyber Girl of the Year Jo Garcia (right) sexed up Nintendo's Wii Fit add-on in videos featuring topless ski­ing and yoga. British model Emma Frain followed with topless Wii hula hooping for zootoday.com. Watch me play with myself.

PETER OUT

Article

Christie Brinkley split with Peter Cook in truly nasty divorce proceed­ings that included detailed accounts of his affair with then-teenage assistant Diana Bianchi and his $3,000-a-month Internet porn habit. You play with yourself too much.

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ATTACK OF THE LIPSTICK CELESBIANS

Article

Miley Cyrus had sugar for singer Katy Perry (whose "I Kissed a Girl" topped the charts), DJ Samantha Ronson liked Lindsay Lohan for the same two rea­sons we do. and Scarlett Johansson smooched Penelope Cruz on-screen and Natalie Portman off.

REALITY TV IS A CRUEL NAKED LESBIAN MISTRESS, INDEED

Article

On her reality dating show A Shot at Love II. TV bisexual Tila Tequila (a Cyber Girl in 2002 as Tila Nguyen) chose playboy model Kristy Morgan from among the 30 male and female candidates—only to be rebuffed. |saved by I UFT, SEPARATE, DEFEND...

DAD AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING

Article

When he was busted for DWI in Virginia, then-New York rep­resentative Vito Fos-sella blurted that he was en route to visit his sick daughter— the product of a sur­reptitious affair with retired Air Force lieu­tenant colonel Laura Fay. End of career....

ART IMITATES LIFE

Article

Uavid Uuchovny. who plays an over­sexed writer on the series Californication. entered rehab for sex addiction. He denied he had cheated on wife Tea Leoni with a tennis instructor (and forced a Brit­ish tabloid to retract claims that he had). Reports...

JOHNNY, WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Article

The National Enquirer busted former presi­dential hopeful John Edwards, whose wife has inoperable can­cer, for having an affair with campaign videog-rapher Rielle Hunter. Edwards fessed up to the fling but denies he's Hunters baby daddy. Gee, it's...

NEWS FLASH

Article

New Zealand's first naked newscaster. Lisa Lewis, helped draw a crowd of 100,000 to Auckland's Boobs on Bikes parade.

RAW DEALER

Article

in her fourth seaso a pot-selling sub ' mom on Weeds, Mary-' Louise Parker tossed off her duds in a pair of sexy scenes, including this one.

GUESS WHAT--I'M PREGNANT

Article

"Abstinence only"—the sex-ed cop-out favored by conservatives—didn't work for Sarah Palin's daughter Bris­tol (and hapless mimbo boyfriend Levi Johnston), whose rabbit died when she was 17.

CHERIE PICKING

Article

French president Nicolas Sarkozy struck a blow tor average-looking world leaders everywhere when he married singer and for­mer model Carla Bruni. Bruni's history of exhi­bitionism moved car­toonist Christo Komar to do a riff on Eugene Delacroix's...

STAR FUCKERS

Article

Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" video on Jimmy Kimmel Live! was funny. Kimmel's "We Are the World"-style comeback, "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck," featuring Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz. Perry Farrell, Macy Gray and a gospel choir, was epic.

SWINGIN' SISTER

Article

CBS set Swingtown in suburban Chicago, so it was only logical that Playmate Qiana Chase would be recruited to play a Bunny in the Windy City's historic Playboy Club. 116 E. Walton St., here I come!

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PORK VINDALOO

Article

India's "first toon porn star" debuted in the online pornographic comic Savita Bhabhi. The adventures of ai^/rely, insa­tiable sister-in-law are the Indian equiva­lent of horny-house wife porn—see it at savita bhabhi.com. I saved by I KNICKOFHME...

RUSSIAN TO JUDGMENT

Article

When the Mos- kovsky Kor- respondent reported that then-president Vladimir Putin planned to get a divorce and wed flexible ormer gymnast the paper was promptly shut down.

DO U THINK THEY R ON 2 US?

Article

After denying the charges for months, then-Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatnck admitted he had lied under oath about his affair with his erne; of staff, Christine Beatty. The smoking gun? Sexy text messages. Gee, it's only felon perjury. CB: And did you...

IT'S ALL GEEK TO HER

Article

Playboy Cyber Girl Amanda Corey and partner Tommy Severo walked away with $250,000 after winning season five of the hit reality show Beauty and the Geek. FOR THE NERDS

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

Article

"Ir Paris Hilton thinks my butt looks gross, I really don't care. At least I have a butt."--Kim Kardashian, responding to Hilton's remarks "I wish I could be sexier, but I haven't done badly for myself with what I've got." --Cate Blanchett on her...

WE LOVE A PARADE

Article

No tax protest this time: These bare-naked London ladies rode for a cancer-support center—and to promote the DVD release of Lady Godiva.

CHANNELIN' MARILYN

Article

Lindsay Lohan didn't have a new movie in theaters in 2008, but relent­less clubbing with her lesbian lover made her an evergreen news story. A highlight was her tribute to the leg­endary Marilyn Monroe—the star who launched playboy—in New York...

PORN WILL EAT ITSELF

Article

Porn sales are slumping, no thanks to free amateur sex clips on YouPorn and Red-Tube. In response, some pros are seeding free sites with their own smut. Users beat on, boats against the current.

GUESS WHAT--I'M PREGNANT TOO

Article

Thomas "Pregnant Man" Beatie, a transgender male who became great with child, gave birth to a daughter in June and was up the stick again by November.

THE ART OF THE POSSIBLE

Article

Less than two months before the election, controversial sculp­tor Daniel Edwards unveiled his bust of Michelle Obama reimagined as a topless African queen. And to women looking to get off with a sex toy based on our 44th president, headostate .com...

MR. PLAYBOY MEETS NEW PLAYMATES

Article

Hef's 82nd year started out with a fond tribute from a birthday-suited Pamela Anderson, Miss February 1990. His love life hit a speed bump with the departure of main squeeze Holly Madison but soon picked back up with the arrival of at least three...

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SIZE MATTERS I

Article

In Christchurch. New Zealand an 80- foot-long purple sperm lazed about the town square as part J of the city's art festival. Pur- ' pie? " Probably if I had made it white, peo­ple would say, 'Oh,'" said the artist, Dutch­man Joep van Lieshout....

SEX WITH CELEBRITIES

Article

Blowin' Up: Pipedream Products' celebrity sex dolls include JHo (a Jennifer Lopez knockoff), Dirty Christina (an ersatz Aguilera), Crazy Daisy (Jessica Simp­son) and Jessica Sin (nee Alba). See pipedreamproducts.com. Hey, Ho, Let's Go: Marky Ramone...

SAY WHAT?

Article

Notable terms, titles and buzzwords from 2008: The Bling-Blinger, the Dripper, the Milker, the Sleeper: A few of the more than 100 classifications of orgasms in Karen Manning's Orgasm Dictionary. "Finger in the Butt, Mexico": Pop ditty by German...

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

Article

Why Cant We Do It on the Road? In Miami Beach cops busted a rolling whorehouse operating in a $250,000 bus and charging a S40 cover fee. Extras, such as oral sex, went for $100. Exhibits A and B: Japanese "big bust" bikini model Serena Kozakura,...

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG OFF ALONG?

Article

e aaun weDsit parpar1.com may con­ceivably bring peace to Israel with pornography. That's right: Israeli Arabs and Israeli Jews, fucking.

UNCONVENTIONAL SOLUTIONS

Article

Shooting Blanks: In a bandit-ridden region of India officials are using guns to fight overpopulation: Men who submit to vasectomy surgery are fast-tracked for a firearms license. Safe Garter: Brazilian lingerie maker Lucia Lorio introduced ladies'...

SIZE MATTERS II

Article

To protest the innate chauvinism of vehicles (?), Finnish artist Mimosa Pale offers rides in her Mobile Female Monument—a giant vagina on wheels— which she tows around the streets of Helsinki. Mine's bigger than yours.

ANIMALS IN THE SACK

Article

Okay, But No Kissing: Researchers in the Republic of the Congo snapped the first photos of gorillas performing face-to-face intercourse. It had been believed that humans and bonobos were the only primates so inclined, with the rest favoring rear...

SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE!

Article

As always, researchers can't keep their mind out of the bedroom. A roundup of findings from all over the globe: Australia: Depressed women have more sex! University of Hawaii: Fat women have more sex! India: Sex can make you fatter! Pfizer: Viagra...

UNPLEASANT SIMILE OF THE YEAR

Article

How the mighty have fallen. Guy Ritchie cited, of all things, wife Madonna's body as a deciding fac­tor in their divorce. He reportedly told friends that making love to the super-buff sex symbol was "like cuddling up to a piece of gristle."

SIZE MATTERS III

Article

A British documentary focuses on women with a condition called objectum-sexuality: Unable to connect emotionally with fel- I low humans, they fall in love with objects great and small. Its star is Erika, an Ameri­can woman who married that ultimate...

[cartoon]

Cartoon

"I'd like to be your valentine again--as soon as you're up for it."

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Peep Culture

Article

Welcome to Peepville, USA, population 300 million and growing. We used to have our fun watching make-believe characters. But then we all got wired up and started exchanging our own real-life sto­ries, pictures and movies. That's when we realized we...

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1 PEEP IS MAINSTREAM

Article

Don't be embarrassed about exposing your private life. Everyone's doing it. Take John Egly and his family. They hail from Pooles-ville, Maryland. In 2004 the Fox television show Trading Spouses called up Egly. He had never seen Trading Spouses or...

2 THE LONELY-PLANET THEORY: PEEP SHOWS US THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE US

Article

Peep culture, in which we exchange our personal lives for the chance to provide entertainment, advice, inspiration or catharsis to others, is not about the money. As David Lyle, president of Fox Reality, puts it, "They're not doing it for money....

3 PRIVACY IS OVERRATED

Article

The challenge isn't to protect your privacy in the age of peep culture. It's to figure out how best to capitalize on your private life—whether that's selling your intimate stories to the highest bidder or agreeing to have your purchases monitored in...

4 PEEP MAKES US MISERABLE

Article

Despite our eagerness to exchange private life for community, peep doesn't make us happy. Peep culture does a good job connecting us to others and making all of us feel we have the potential to be spe­cial, but seemingly effortless connection turns...

5 BREAKING THE SEAL: PEEP IS ADDICTIVE

Article

Go to photo-sharing site webshots.com and enter the search phrase "breaking the seal." You will find hundreds of photos of people about to take a piss. We peep for friendship, for community, for the opportunity to reinvent ourselves. There are...

6 PEEP IS BIG BUSINESS

Article

We like to think of peep culture as an amateur phenomenon, something the kids are doing for fun. But peep isn't a fad; it's big business. Corporate entities actively encourage us to consume the lives of others as if they were bags of barbecue potato...

A SHORT HISTORY OF PEEPING

Article

American innovation takes peep cul­ture to the next level when photog­rapher Tom Howard sneaks a camera Into the execution of Ruth Snyder. The resulting photo covers the front page of the New York Dally News. Allen Funt starts his radio show Candid...

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Bet on Burciaga

Playmate, Centerfold, Pictorial

MISS FEBRUARY JESSICA BURCIAGA IS A QUEEN OF HEARTS €very hand is a winner when your cards are dealt by a woman with a perfect pair. Meet Jessica Burciaga, a 25-year-old southern Califomian who had been study­ing sports broadcasting in college...

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PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

Article

What's the difference between a stockbroker and a pigeon? A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Lexus. If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the Jags, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the Bucs, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?...

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HELP LESS LITTLE THINGS

Article

She's sweet. She's vulnerable. She's a con man's wet dream— and his worst nightmare I fucking hate Portland. So earnest and smug. There was a Portland guy here in Shelton on a meth pop, and even he had it—that too-sweet-to-believe thing. Like a lot...

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MAY GUY 2,0

Article

AFTER PLAYING A COMPUTER GEEK AND AN ACTUAL COMPUTER, JUSTIN LONG GETS DRESSED UP FOR THIS YEAR'S BIGGEST DATE MOVIE PRODUCED BY JENNIFER RYAN JONES Among TV pitchmen, Justin Long ranks himself near the middle. "I sit some­where between the 'Time to...

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CARS OF THE YEAR 2009

Article

OUR TEAM OF DEDICATED GEARHEADS SPENT THE PAST 12 MONTHS DRIVING EVERYTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN ON ROADS AND RACETRACKS ACROSS THE UNITED STATES AND EUROPE. THE MOST PROGRES­SIVE GREEN TECHNOLOGY. THE FASTEST SPORTS CARS. LOAD-HAULING PICKUPS AND...

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Corvette ZR1 vs. Nissan GT-R

Article

PLAYBOY PITS THE TWO HOTTEST 2009 LAUNCHES AGAINST EACH OTHER IN A RUBBER-SHREDDINC TRACK DAY When we turned up with the Corvette ZR1 and Nissan GT-R at the new Monticello Motor Club northwest of Manhattan, jaws hit the pavement How hot are these...

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CAR OF THE YEAR

Article

Nissan GT-R AN INTERNATIONAL cult car built to win the Japan Touring Car Championship and originally not imported to the U.S., Nissan's Skyline CT-R bundled the finest high technology into a brutally effective street-legal racer. Scandal erupted...

Powering The Future

Article

FINDING THE NEXT FUEL-EFFICIENT ENGINE TECHNOLOGY IS THE GREATEST INDUSTRIAL STRUGGLE OF OUR TIME. WHICH WILL WIN OUT IN THE END? Hybrid Gas-Electric How it works: Hybrids have both a gas engine and a battery-powered electric engine, the latter...

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JOSH HOLLOWAY

Article

LOSr'S NUMBER ONE BADASS CHANNELS HIS INNER SAWYER, EXPLAINS WHY EVERYONE ON THE SHOW GETS SPEEDING TICKETS, RELIVES HIS DAYS AS A SKINNY MALE MODEL AND TELLS WHAT MAY HAPPEN NEXT ON TV'S FAVORITE ISLAND Q1 PLAYBOY: You're heading into your fifth...

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THE TUNNEL OF TOTAL BOREDOM

Cartoon

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GOOD BYE GIRLS

Article

The Girls Next Door are moving down the street We met them nearly four years ago: three young, unsophisticated, wide-eyed blondes who gave TV viewers a look at the strange and wonderful life behind the gates of the Playboy Mansion. They came from up...

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

"You remembered!"

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

"Getting a mention in a poem by Edgar Allan Poe doesn't turn you into a star overnight, you know."

LOWER ARM WORKOUT by FOREARMMAX

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

Video series by Better Sex

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MEATY Myths

Cartoon

DIGITAL EDITION by Playboy

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

"It's a bit like acupuncture, but I don't use needles!"

Bowflex DumbBell by BOWFLEX

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BEDROOM ADVENTURE GEAR by LIBERATOR

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GOLD OR PLATINUM by Loveisarose

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

"No, Kevin. It wasn't romantic and it isn't the thought that counts."

Book by ALTA LOMA

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

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[cartoon]

Cartoon

"I never did like Robert's first wife."

[cartoon]

Cartoon

"You folks are in luck--this property just came on the market!"

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7. UTOPIAN PEEP

Article

Ten years ago futurist David Brin argued in his book The Transparent Snciels that we should stop protecting privacy and work toward the Utopian notion of transparency. In the transparent society there would be no secrets. All citizens would have...

Dirty Duck

Cartoon

Panties

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Guitar by SIGNEDROCK

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TRUMP THIS

Article

The Donald sure cm pick 'em. last year he gave I'MOY 2005 Tiffany Fallon a chance on The Celebrity Apprentice, and this season he extended the invitation to another I'MOY, 2001's Brande Roderick. One of Brande's early tasks was selling cupcakes for...

HOT MAMA

Article

"Doctors pump drugs into preg­nant women, and these drugs affect rhc baby," Miss August 2001 Jenni­fer Wnlcott told us and Holistic Health Miigjziitt'. discuss­ing the natural birth of her beau­tiful and healthy son, Jett. "I didn't want to poison...

FLASHBACK

Article

JULIE MCCULLOUGH Julie (left) grew up via Growing Pains and became Miss February 1986. Always the entertainer, she performs stand-up as the Funny Bunny.... Forty years ago we named Lorrie Miss February 1969. That issue caught the eye of James Bond...

DID YOU KNOW?

Article

Miss February 1990 Pam Ander­son wrote an open letter to Barack Obama to urge marijuana legalization. Victoria Sitvstedt: My Perfect Life, a real­ity show based on our PMOY 1997, is big in the U.K. and Australia. Miss October 1992 Tiffany Sloan...

MY FAVORITE PLAYMATE

Article

c: l a p p appears on HBO's Taking Chance: "My favorite Play­mate is Miss March 2002 Tina Jordan. I met her at the 2007 Playboy Golf Scram­ble Championship when she was assigned to drive my golf cart. Despite my inability to focus on my golf game,...

CRUSH GROOVE

Article

Putting on Marvin (iaye to get your lover in the mood on Valentine's Day is like giving roses—it lacks creativity' and real passion. Don't worry. International D| Miss January 2004 Colleen Shannon has you covered. On her site she has assembled a...

IDEAL VALENTINE'S NIGHT BY AMBER CAMPISI

Article

IDEAL VALENTINE'S NIGHT BY AMBER CAMPISI

OUT AND ABOUT WITH...

Article

OUT AND ABOUT WITH... Miss May 2003 Laurie Fetter ana miss August 2004 Pilar Lastra were invited by the Department of Defense to Fort Irwin in California. They took a tour of the base's mock Middle Eastern village and boosted the morale of the...

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MAGAZINE by PLAYBOY ARCHIVE

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THE MONEY PIT

Article

OUR GOVERNMENT IS BROKEN AND PROSPECTS FOR REFORM ARE GRIM. BUT DON'T ABANDON ALL HOPE-WE CAN FIX IT Last fall the House of Representatives set off a stock-market collapse by voting against the first version of the bailout legislation, which had...

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WHY IT MATTERS

Article

Lobbying, lobbying, earmarks. Blah, blah, blah. Not so fast, bro. There are real-life consequences to all this. Take the onkruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005. This law made it im­possible for ordinary people to get out from...

FREEDOM TAX

Article

LIBERTY CANNOT FLOURISH IN A LOPSIDED SOCIETY. JUST ASK TEDDY With Barack Obama's inauguration in late January, redistribution and other buzzwords hurled at the Democratic candidate along the campaign trail are once again topics for arguments in...

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AN HONEST DISCUSSION OF RACE?

Letters to the Editor

If I, a white guy, had penned the words "History has demonstrated that...only when black and white folk work together to confront challenges in our society can significant change happen," would I be patriarchal or racist ("Welcome to Post-Racial...

Homeland Insecurity

Article

Washington, d.c. In May 2007 we wrote about subversion of the Posse Comitatus Act, a law that prohibits the federal gov­ernment from using the military to police citizens. It may have seemed alarmist to some, but last fall Army Times reported the...

Getting Behind Change

Article

Washington. D.c. Showing a dramatic rise in support, 104 former generals and ad­mirals signed a statement in favor of get­ting rid of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" position regarding gays. (The previous year, just 28 signed a similar...

INarc

Article

Aberdeen, u.k- Scottish police tested a por­table machine able to detect cocaine, can-nabis, heroin and ecstasy from a swab of a persons hand. Ominously, all 753 people asked to submit to the test out­side pubs and clubs agreed to be swabbed.

Power Up

Article

Washington, d.c. With the inauguration on our minds, an essay by David Calleo in World Policy Journal caught our eye: "Heavy military spending helps explain America's frequent macroeconomic indiscipline and what has now become a perpetual need for...

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The More Things Change...

Article

ou saw MisCHA BARTON in this space last month—and let I us tell you, it's no small feat to make it into consecutive Grape­vines. On top of that, she's in both the last black-and-white Grapevine and the first color Grapevine. Oh yeah, welcome to the...

You Saw It Here First

Article

W The hot look for spring, spotted on the runways dur-' ing New York's Fashion Week: clothing that is part see-through, part not there at all. If a co-worker shows up in this Jill Stuart outfit, be sure to compliment her.

Be Gentle, Liz. Pay Attention to What You're Doing and Don't Just Yank It Up and Down Like It's Some Bloody Big Light Switch

Article

Unless it is some bloody big light switch. Then you can yank all you want. Look! LIZ HURLEY'S panties!

A Valentine's Day Gift Idea

Article

MAX incorrectly applying the Confetti Pink tip gloss from her I Am Trouble cosmetics line. Visit iamtrouble.com for more shades—and more MasuimL

Fahrvergbooben

Article

SALMA HAYEK had to don a snug dirndl after losing a bet on the German TV show Wetten. Doss..? ("Wanna Bet?"). We're guessing the wardrobe department didn't know the bodacious-anyway Hayek was still breast-feeding. We'll also go ahead and guess Karl...

Another Valentine's Day Gift Idea

Article

No idle hands here. When not shooting for Playboy Special Editions and the Club. CARLOTTA CHAMPAGNE is known to make handbags, belts, prom dresses and garter belts (pictured) out of condoms. See more of her crafts at carlyscondomnation.com.

Put the Nipple on the Rekkid

Article

It's Not Me. It's You. the second album from cheeky British pop singer LILY ALLEN, is due in stores on February 10. The publicity campaign will likely include concerts, TV appearances and a whole lot of this sort of thing.

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NEXT MONTH

Article

SEX AND MUSIC ISSUE-WE CELEBRATE TWO OF LIFE'S MOST PRIMAL PLEASURES NEXT MONTH, BEGINNING WITH COVER MODEL AUBREY O'DAY. HER SEXUALITY WAS STIFLED WHEN SHE WAS PART OF DIDDY'S GIRL GROUP DANITY KANE, BUT NOW O'DAY IS LIBERATED AND READY TO REVEAL...

Whiskey by WOODFORD RESERVE

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PHOENIX by Time Warner Company

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