Playboy Magazine, January 01, 2003

Full Table of Contents

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Whisky by John Dewar & Sons Company.

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Skoal by U.S. Smokeless Tobacco Co.

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Play Station by Sony Entertaiment America Inc.

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From the Editor

It may be relief at still having a job. Or maybe it's the urge to drink freely on the boss' dime. In any case, holiday office parties are workplace snow globes of romantic possibility. For us at Playboy, the buffet alone requires mental wet wipes....

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Beer by Anheuser-Busch, Inc.

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Crown Royal by Joseph E. Seagram & Sons

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Playboy by playboy

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DVD by Paramount Picture

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Copenhagen by U.S. Smokeless Tobacco Co.

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The World of Playboy


Hot Slots Hef was presented with the first Playboy Bally slot machine at a Mansion launch party. Teenage heartthrob Frankie Avalon has a slot, too, but Hef has all the girls. Clooney and Clark at the Mansion Hanging with Hef, George Clooney shot...

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Playboy by playboy

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Dear Playboy

Letters to the Editor

Talking up sex Men shouldn't be encouraged to talk women into sex (How to Talk a Woman Into Sex by Dean Kuipers, October). A real man respects a woman's signals and does not try to change her mind. Shannan Wanger Santa Cruz, California I can't help...

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Whisky by Jack Daniels

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Playboy After Hours


Camel No. 5 After years of trying, French perfumers have re-created Kyphi, the fragrance of the pharaohs. Kyphi was hailed as an aphrodisiac by Egyptians, who wore it in their hair and nether regions to fire up their sex lives. Modern chemists mixed...

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DVD by Paramount Pictures

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Namco by Nameco Hometek Inc.

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Raw Data


Quote "The people who look at Eminem and think what a cool, tough guy he is should remember that he lived at home with his mom until he was 26."--Eminem's mother, Debbie mathers Bad Stock The total value of stock cashed in--prior to the recent...

Tanqueray by Schieffelin & Somerest Co.

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Car by The Danbury Mint

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Page 28 Leonard Maltin Page 29 Leonard Maltin

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Leonard Maltin

Previews Daredevil: The popular Marvel Comics hero gets the big-screen treatment from Ben Affleck (in a role for which Matt Damon, Edward Norton and Mark Wahlberg were also considered). So what's a ripped, physically challenged (he's blind)...

DVD by Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, Inc.

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Score Card


About Schmidt Jack Nicholson adds yet another masterful portrayal to his gallery, as a Midwestern insurance salesman who retires in his 60s and discovers that his life is empty.[rating]3 bunnies[/rating] Adaptation Nicolas Cage plays screenwriter...

Car by Dupontregistry

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A Batch of Bachelor Parties In A Guy Thing--out this month--Jason Lee, engaged to straight-laced Selma Blair, wakes up in bed the morning of his wedding with (gulp!) naked Julia Stiles. Those damned bachelor parties. Nothing good ever happens--too...

Guest Shot: Bill Paxton


Laurence Lerman



Ryan Adams, America's most prolific singer-songwriter under the age of 30, dusted off demos from the past two years to make Demolition (Lost Highway). True to form, it's a poignant glimpse into his heartbroken soul. Alison Prato On its sixth...

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Techie Phobics We can understand a phobia about needles (trypanophobia) or about being buried alive (taphophobia). But if you suffer from arachibutyrophobia (a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth), then you need professional...



Last year Grand Theft Auto III proved that saving the universe was for suckers. Real fun was in stealing cars, pulling off gangland hits and avoiding the law, all in the name of making a quick buck. The new sequel, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (by...

Spiced Rum by Captain Morgan Rum Co.

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Living Online


The Reverse Cowgirl's Blog The Reverse Cowgirl's Blog ( com/0001437/) is where I turn for a daily dose of sex-related news, gossip, tidbits and cartoons. Susannah Breslin is one funny freelance sex writer, and her weblog has attracted a...

Borders by Artisan Home Entertainment Inc.

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What you need: The Xbox Live starter kit ($50). It includes a voice-chat headset and a one-year subscription to the Xbox Live service. You'll also need broadband Net service, since Xbox Live isn't compatible with dial-up connections. How it works:...

Diamond by The Diamond Kiss Ring

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Page 40 Alison Prato; Barbara Nellis; Dick Lochte; Leopold Froehlich; Patty Lamberti Page 41 Alison Prato; Barbara Nellis; Dick Lochte; Leopold Froehlich; Patty Lamberti

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Alison Prato; Barbara Nellis; Dick Lochte; Leopold Froehlich; Patty Lamberti

More Elmore Novelist Elmore Leonard's trademark offbeat characters are in long supply in his new short-fiction collection, When the Women Come Out to Dance (Morrow). In the course of nine stories, you'll meet a bandito with heart, an insurance...

Playboy TV


Meet Sarai, Your Favorite New TV Star How did 20-year-old Puerto Rican native Sarai win Playboy's Hedonism III contest? She and her husband were vacationing in Jamaica for their one-year anniversary, and when she heard about our contest, she begged...

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Sex Tricks you Need to Know When things get dull in the sack, it's not like you can ask your girl to wait while you look through a book for a new position. You need to hit the bedroom prepared. Here are five tricks to bone up on, compliments of...

Video Series by Better Sex

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Page 44 Asa Baber Page 45 Asa Baber

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2003: What Women Want


Asa Baber

Happy New Year, amigos. To prepare you for the collisions and conflagrations that are bound to occur between the sexes in 2003, Playboy recently sent me on assignment to all 50 of these great United States. I am happy to report I have completed my...

Paul Masson by Playboy

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Element of Surprise Honda designed the Element as a mobile crash pad. It sleeps two with the rear seats stowed against the interior walls. Or stash a 10-foot surfboard, skis, bikes and snowboards in its 76 cubic feet of cargo space. Composite body...

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DVD by New Line Productions, Inc.

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Cyber Club by Playboy

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Page 52 Chip Rowe Page 53 Chip Rowe

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Bush Family Rehab

Reader-Editor Discussion

Chip Rowe

In January 2001, police arrested an accomplice to terror--Noelle Bush, the 24-year-old daughter of Florida Governor Jeb Bush and niece of newly appointed President George Bush. She had attempted, at 1:15 a.m., to fill a fraudulent prescription for...

Page 54 James R. Petersen Page 55 James R. Petersen

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Snitch, Inc.

Reader-Editor Discussion

James R. Petersen

Within weeks of the planes striking the World Trade Center, Ronald Ferry, an observant hotel security guard, told the feds he had found an aviation radio inside an Egyptian student's room that overlooked the twin towers. He had been doing an...

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Reader Response

Reader-Editor Discussion

Free Speech, of Not? In "You Be the Judge II" (The Playboy Forum, October), Chip Rowe describes artist Ronald White's struggle against persecution in South Carolina, where authorities arrested and convicted him of illegal tattooing. I co-authored an...

Forum F.Y.I.

Reader-Editor Discussion

As part of a citywide festival, Baltimore's Office of Promotion and the Arts asked "billboard liberator" Ron English to contribute one of his signature pieces. His past creations have included billboards with slogans such as "Jihad Is Over! (If You...

Page 58 Marty Klein Page 59 Marty Klein

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Oprah and Dr. Phil Sex for the Simpleminded

Reader-Editor Discussion

Marty Klein

If your girlfriend, wife or marriage counselor has some conservative, misguided or just plain inaccurate ideas about sex, you might want to ask if she watches The Oprah Winfrey Show or the newly syndicated Dr. Phil. The daily talkathons are a...

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Reader-Editor Discussion

Road Porn High point, north carolina--A cop on patrol noticed the four occupants of a Lincoln Navigator watching a movie on two video monitors installed in the SUV (one a drop-down and the other in the back of a headrest). The officer followed the...


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Car by Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.

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Playboy Interview: Halle Berry


Controversies and problems have dogged Halle Berry all her life. Her maternal grandparents shunned her family because her mother married an African American. She was elected prom queen but then was accused of stuffing the ballot box. When she was 22...

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Bionutrient by Nioxin

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Hairlines by Nioxin

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Radar by Escort

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Single Barrel by Evan Williams

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Hot Spot by hot spot healthy sex

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Page 72 Michael Fleming Page 73 Michael Fleming

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Birth of the Mob


Michael Fleming

Martin Scorsese has been one of America's most celebrated directors for 30 years. He's stayed on the fringe of the Hollywood system, avoiding the temptation to make blockbuster films in favor of smaller, personal statements that have won him a loyal...

Page 74 Buck Brown Page 75 Buck Brown

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Buck Brown

"I say, Cratchit, I'm glad you stopped complaining about the lack of heat in the office!"

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Tia Carrere


Hawaii is the closest that many of us will ever come to paradise. The black-sand beaches, the dramatic waterfalls and the crashing blue surf are irresistible. But Tia Carrere puts us over the edge. She makes us want to dance and schwing. Apparently,...

Page 86 Michael Connelly Page 87 Michael Connelly

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Christmas Even


Michael Connelly

The Three Kings Pawnshop on Hollywood Boulevard had been burglarized three times in two years. The criminal methods of each breakin were similar, so the Los Angeles Police Department suspected that the same thief was responsible. But the thief was...

Page 88 Edmond Kiraz Page 89 Edmond Kiraz

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Edmond Kiraz

"I sure am glad I never stopped believing in you!"

Page 90 John Rezek Page 91 John Rezek

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Hot Chocolate


John Rezek

There may be a woman somewhere who doesn't like chocolate, but she's hard to find. Chocolate can serve as a treat at the end of an exasperating day. It can be a salve that soothes life's injustices. As an ingredient in food, chocolate can transform...

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The Playboy Office Sex


Last August we invited Playboy readers and visitors to to participate in an office sex survey. We had a notion that lust was alive and well in the workplace, back in the hands of consenting adults where it belongs. As a nation, we'd...

Page 98 Ken Gross Page 99 Ken Gross

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Monster's Ball


Ken Gross

Bis SUVs are here to stay. The Navigator helped put Lincoln back on shopping lists. Cadillac's Escalade (above) has spawned another, longer 2003 version named the ESV. Owners of Volvos, BMWs, porsches and Volkswagens could soon be trucking in...

Page 100 Juan Álvarez; Jorge G. Page 101 Juan Álvarez; Jorge G.

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Santa Clues


Juan Álvarez; Jorge G.

Elizabeth, Honey, I'm Home! Eddie! The Conference Got Canceled. I Got on the First Plane. Oh, Elizabeth! "'I Just Had To esse You'" "'I Couldn't Face Christmas without you'" The Warmth of your Arms'" "'Of Your Mouth'" A Santa Hat! Is it for Me? Er...

Page 102 Bill O'reilly Page 103 Bill O'reilly

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The Death of Network News


Bill O'reilly

When it comes to the current state of network news in this country, the words of Crosby, Stills and Nash may say it best: "It's been a long time coming Gonna be a long time gone." With more Americans currently watching cable TV than the broadcast...

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Eleventh-Hour Santa


Make your home or car a commercial-free zone with Delphi's XM SkyFi satellite radio (top left, $130), which receives 100 channels of music, news, sports and talk for $10 a month. Vehicle-and home-adapter kits are $70 each. Playboy Radio, XM's first...

Page 108 Olivia Page 109 Olivia

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"Hre's your Christmas persent, darling"

Page 110 Arny Freytag; Stephen Wayda Page 111 Arny Freytag; Stephen Wayda

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Rebecca Ramos, Miss January, 2003

Playmate, Centerfold, Pictorial

Arny Freytag; Stephen Wayda

Rebecca ramos must have had litigants lined up for blocks when she practiced law in the Lone Star State. Although Miss January graduated magna cum laude with a B.B.A. in finance and passed the bar, the San Antonio native did a career 180 and became...

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Playboy's Party Jokes


Three men walked into a bar. A priest, a pedophile and a homosexual. Actually, that was just the first guy. A newspaper reported a truckload of Viagra has been hijacked. Police are looking for hardened criminals. The government is requiring new food...



Marty Murphy

"Reindeer style? Well, basically, it's a lot like doggy style ... !"

Page 124 Mike Shropshire Page 125 Mike Shropshire

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Mike Shropshire

The economy! The sinking of the Dow! Enron! Halliburton! Harken! Worldcom! The trampling of civil liberties! John Ashcroft! The intelligence failures of September 11! Indecision on the Northern Alliance! Israel! Anthrax! Tom Ridge! Budget deficits!...

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Boom Time for Butts


In The Naked Ape, Desmond Morris theorized that cleavage was a frontal representation of the crack of a woman's ass--a practical way for two-legged creatures to avoid bending over all the time to display the real thing. But we don't need to be...

Page 128 Shel Silverstein Page 129 Shel Silverstein

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Vengeance is Mine


Shel Silverstein

They were raisin' hell all over earth When the noise got so damn loud That it reached up to heaven and woke up God, Who was sleepin' on a king-size cloud. He says, "How they expect a body to rest When they raise hell at three in the morn? Damn, I'm...

Page 130 Eldon Dedini Page 131 Eldon Dedini

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Eldon Dedini

"You know, every New Year I meet my true soul mate at this party!"

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The Year in Sex


Peta, Peta, Veggie Eater Having trouble getting your message across? Just doff your duds. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which pioneered the strategy, uses it to protest (1) the running of the bulls in Pamplona; (2) meat eaters, with a...

Page 138 Doug Sneyd Page 139 Doug Sneyd

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Doug Sneyd

"Sorry, honey--but it's out with the old, and in with the new!"

Centerfalds on Sex


Lexie Karlsen

On Linking Oral Sex I love to give oral sex. but the guy has to be kempt prefer for him to be trimmed down there, just be cause I have more auuess. I like a well-groomed man. Then I can get to more areas, and I think the sensation is better, too. I...

Page 140 Arianna Huffington Page 141 Arianna Huffington

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Santa's Naughty CEOs


Arianna Huffington

"Ho, ho, ho!" The sound was clear, even if the video was jumpy. It showed a fat, florid-faced man sitting at a desk with a pad and pencil, talking to himself and making notes. Outside his frosted window, a snowstorm was raging. "Ho, ho, ho. . ....

Page 142 Rowland B. Wilson Page 143 Rowland B. Wilson

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Rowland B. Wilson

"A toast to the New Year! May it be another prosperous one for Attila and all us Huns!"

Page 144 Joseph De Acetis Page 145 Joseph De Acetis

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Give a Girl a Shirt


Joseph De Acetis

Her dress looks great on your kitchen floor. But your shirt looks better on her than on you. Take it as an opportunity. When she climbs out of bed and starts rummaging around for something to slip into, make sure she finds good stuff. That peek at a...

Page 148 Robert S. Wieder Page 149 Robert S. Wieder

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That Was the Year That Was


Robert S. Wieder

Homeland Security To crush the foe, George Bush will spend Whatever sum of cash will Do the trick and nail that prick. Osama? No, Tom Daschle. The Stock Market Stockbrokers lied, they touted crap, And fleeced us with bum steers. The "Wall Street...

Page 150 Ron Insana Page 151 Ron Insana

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Play Boy's 20Q


Ron Insana

Ron Insana didn't set out to become a television business journalist. He took just one economics course, as a college sophomore. After graduation, the theater-and-film major got a job as a production assistant at the struggling Financial News...

Page 152 Alden Erikson Page 153 Alden Erikson

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Alden Erikson

"Ah! Sanctuary."

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Playboy's Playmate Review


Globalization had a big impact here at Playboy. Our 2002 Playmates proved that beauty loves a melting pot. This year we have women with ancestors from Puerto Rico, Russia, Japan, China, Africa, Hawaii and even Guyana. But only one of these girls...

Page 166 Gahan Wilson Page 167 Gahan Wilson

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Gahan Wilson

"I've got a feeling this is going to be a rough one!"

Page 168 Julian Dedman Page 169 Julian Dedman

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Julian Dedman

"That's Mr. Clark from accounting . . . every year he pretends to pass out near the punch bowl so you'll have to step over him!"

Hair Clinic by Winner Daytona

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Page 170 Leo Cullum Page 171 Leo Cullum

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Leo Cullum

"Actually, I live with a cat, but it's platonic."



Howard Shoemaker

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Pharmacals by Western Research Pharmacals

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Page 174 Daniel Fisher Page 175 Daniel Fisher

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Texas Money


Daniel Fisher

In mid-July 2002 President Bush vowed to crack down on Enronstyle corporate crime. It was nice bit of theater. As a young Texan with a Harvard MBA and a gold-plated name, George W. Bush benefited from just about every favor, handshake loan and...


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Page 176 Bobby London Page 177 Bobby London

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Dirty Duck


Bobby London

2002 His been a pretty pathetic year for all of us, weevil. But you seem to have had a head start on every body, particularly in the female department. So I've decided to take some pity an your horny little bug's ass and help you with your new...

Shoe by Elevators

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Stereo by Crutchfield

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Panty by L.A. Williams

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Page 178 Peter Kohlsaat Page 179 Peter Kohlsaat

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Peter Kohlsaat

"Well, so much for that New Year's resolution."

Testosterole by Maximum

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Adult Pleasures by Xandria Collection

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Page 180 Clive Collins Page 181 Clive Collins

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Clive Collins

"...And here's a shot of Ed and me having sex with your husband."


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Page 182 Don Madden Page 183 Don Madden

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Don Madden

"Wow! I've finally made the mile high club!"

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Panties by L.A. Williams

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Bedroom by Liberator

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Herbal by Adam & Eve.

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Where & How to Buy


Wired Pages 34-36: All Nature's Safeway, naturessafeway. com. Alpha Lab, trifieldme Capcom, 408-774-0400 or Gamma Scout, JVC, 800-252-5722 or jvc. com. KDS, 800-283-1311 or LucasArts, lucas



Alden Erikson

"Don't worry. Even during the busy holidays, guys find time to go out and get laid."

Page 188 Fred Schrier Page 189 Fred Schrier

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Meaty Myths

Comic Strip

Fred Schrier

The Annual office party is once again a bore.... I'll give you $500 if you slip back to my office couch with me! overtime pay $500! OK! Much Later Wow! Here, you deserve this! Hey..? This is a company check for $500! I know... the boss asked me to...



Tomi Ungerer

"Finally, Miss Wall, I want to let you know that I have a very nice Christmas boner for you."

Page 190 Gary McCoy Page 191 Gary McCoy

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Gary McCoy

"Lyle, at midnight you're supposed to yell 'Happy New Year'--not 'Get the fuck off my wife."'

Playmate News


Back to the beach Steph returns from the dead as a ghost! Mitch resurfaces after being blown to bits! A supermodel nearly drowns! There are tons of jiggle! It's just another day at the beach in Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding, the TV movie in which 16...

Page 192 Don Madden Page 193 Don Madden

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Don Madden

"Martha, meet Vickie, my New Year's resolution."

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Playboy on the Scene


Jason Buhrmester

Return of the scooter Racing a scooter through congested city traffic could qualify as an extreme sport, but once you get the hang of cutting around cabs and double-parked cars you'll shave a good chunk of time off your daily commute. The latest...

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Mountain Mamas' High HarmonyEmmylou Harris, Patty Loveless and Alison Krauss (left to right) toured on Down From the Mountain, with Ralph Stanley. Bluegrass aficionados in 60 cities got the message. Well, Well, MichelleMichelle Murphy graced the...

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Let's get lit Push a button at the bottom of the glasses pictured above (wine, martini, champagne and margarita) and the stems begin to blink. Hit the button again and the glasses glow steadily. Is cocktail hour fun or what? Green, blue, pink and...

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Cigarette by B&W T Co.

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Bacardi by Bacardi U.S.A., Inc.

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